Mere Cricket Club Mere CC v Shaftesbury on Sun 26 May 2013 at 2.00
Mere Cricket Club Won by 92 runs

Match report Weir dazzles in Shaftesbury Scorcher as we bid farewell to Mere’s favourite tosser.
(Harvey dazzles with mini quiche, cheese straws and cracking cakes as Mum and Dad help him out with his turn at the tea)

Phew what a scorcher…a term rarely heard on a Mere Cricketing Sunday…sometimes heard on a Mere Cricketing Tour depending on where the evening has ended up but on this occasion it was well justified as we saw three landmark events take place on the hallowed Duchy ground.
As the chairman arrived promptly at 1pm (others please note) he was met by an enthusiastic and eager Captain Weir who was obviously excited to be playing cricket on such a beautiful day and against his old paymasters Shaftesbury who he served so well as man and boy. Always a good game against the chaps from over the border and up the hill, played in the right spirit (others please note!) and usually produces a special display from an individual from one side or the other. Previous encounters can be remembered for Merrion crisp Chardonnay Williams who actually works closest to the ground at Yapps but plays for Shaftesbury and his 5 wicket haul last time out and a batting display from a young Mutton that a A Lamb would have been proud of. As Chairman and Captain put out the Whitmore gate and Tony Traves enclosure, talk turned to our apparent one dimensional bowling attack for the day and whether it would have enough teeth to tame the Shaftesbury boys….we would have to wait.
Landmark number 1
On this day we would be saying goodbye to Mere’s favourite tosser Kevin Tealy as he played his last home game before heading “down under” to ply his trade on firm hard wickets in constant sunshine against batsmen no doubt who may not have seen his like in the southern hemisphere before. One of our founder members, Kev has been kept up many a Captain’s sleeve to be unleashed (probably not the right adjective)..more like trundled out against unsuspecting batters who have treated his lolloping “well flighted” deliveries with disdain at their peril. Team Kevin up with a class act behind the stumps (we have one of them) and some bucket handed catchers on the boundary (we have one of them too!) and mayhem and carnage has been seen in oppositions middle and late orders up and down the county. His trademark wild celebration of folded arms across belly with hand on chin will be missed, as will his in-depth knowledge of roofing, cider, olde English sayings and general expertise on all things internet based will surely take much replacing. Best wishes Kev from all at the club.
The Match
With the picket fence erected, the boundary markers re-set by Ben, “call this a boundary “ sicknote Skipworth our other tosser Captain Weir won one for a change and decided to bat on what looked like a well prepared and hard wicket…most unlike us for a change. The opening pair providing the contrast in styles this week were Sean “have it” Harkin and Dan “give it a tickle” Brickle….taking the place of the swashbuckling chairman who having posted his finest ever one day total against the Irish has been pushed further down the order…..batting number 14 on this occasion….(but like the Murphy’s he’s not bitter!)
Harkin provided his usual circumspect start by launching one back over the bowler for a blistering four on a short and surprisingly quick outfield..most unlike us for a change. Big Sean was soon on his way however when clean bowled as he played down the wrong line completely, bringing Captain Weir to the crease early in the piece. Looking comfortable from the off he survived an early lbw shout but the umpire, having given all due consideration to the fact that he would be one place closer to getting a bat if he gave him out and he’s not bitter decided it was sneaking down leg and shook his head (J Harvey please note!) Duncan then got in to his stride and dispatched the ball to all parts, very soon holding the willow aloft to signify his 50. Ably assisted by Woody Allen lookalike Brickle the score was moving along nicely until Dan popped up an easy caught and bowled chance to Cuff who held on gleefully.
Joined at the crease by Matt Pitts the rest of us sat back in the sunshine, looking forward to watching our most graceful batting pair, two thirds of Mere’s posh boy trio as the sun continued to blaze down. Shaftesbury had now brought back Cuff into the attack, and very shortly after he accounted for Pitts who gave an easy chance to veteran Shaftesbury Electrician and part time employer of Captain Weir, Dave Toogood who snaffled the catch in the gully area.
Pitts gave way to our newest recruit to Mere CC, none other than Ben sicknote Skipworth (see report v …….) who having seen his MDF bat disintegrate in his first game was now wielding an expensive looking piece of grade one willow as he strode purposefully out to the middle. “He takes a big stride” someone in the Tony Traves enclosure was heard to comment as indeed Skipworths mighty step forward to the gentle pace of Merrion Williams ensured that both new bat, new pads, new shoes all came together perfectly to return the ball politely back down the track. “Looks comfortable…should suit him…this could be his day…he needs some time in the middle…needs to feel bat on ball….all the great old “Whitmoreisms “ were in full flow up until the fourth ball where new bat and new pad didn’t quite come together as planned and off stump was duly upset…duck to Skipworth….it’s only a pound.
Drinks break……..Weir shows off his alternative headgear….leave the headbands to Roger Federer, Rafael Nadal and the teenage mutant ninja turtles…a fashion started by the great Bjorn Borg and JP McEnroe…D can’t be serious!
Landmark number Two….Weir posts first century of the season!
With a beautifully timed clip off his legs through long on for four we were treated to another glimpse of the head band as Weir removes his helmet and takes the richly deserved applause from the Tony Traves enclosure. It was a perfectly constructed innings of very few errors and many well timed boundaries. Shaftesbury were beginning to tire on this stifling day and things didn’t get any better as Williams entered the fray with his new bat and in his own style, cross batted anything in his zone for a quick fire 22. Another virgin bat got its’ first outing as Ings joined Weir and he too, possibly inspired by his free scoring skipper started to play shots all around the ground for a brisk 15. Weir finally fell on 135 bowled by the youngster Barnes and left the field to sporting applause from all the Shaftesbury players. A much needed drink, a sit down and a chance to take his silly hat off as he sat back to enjoy the last few overs with the stage now taken by our departing Tosser Tealy. Kev didn’t disappoint as he pulled a few shots out of his locker he’s been saving up for Oz as the momentum continued. Ings was bowled by Mutton which brought our senior pro Bryan to the crease who dibbed and dabbed before being bowled. Harvey was the next in with only a few balls remaining and being the tea lady that day could probably have done without the distraction. He saw the last ball out, his average intact and rushed from the field of play to put the finishing touches to landmark number 3. Mere had posted an impressive 264-8.
Landmark number three…Jason gets his Mum and Dad to do the tea!
We’re not complaining Jase, as we at Mere take our teas very seriously and we’ve never actually stipulated who takes responsibility when it’s their hats off to Ma and Pa Harvey who did their son proud. I guess it’s a bit like helping with your child’s homework, we all do it…we know that strictly it’s not helping them in the long run but the satisfaction of seeing your little one getting a certificate in assembly for “their great piece of work” does leave one with a somewhat warm glow inside. So Mr Harvey senior if we decide this year to award for the finest tea you and your son will certainly be in the running. Warm individual quiche, hot sausage rolls,( kettle chips ….showoff!) and the crowning glory..Ma Harvey’s homemade Strawberry and fresh cream sponge…so large that the Chairman had to use a fork to eat it…that doesn’t often happen with Bryan’s Swiss Rolls. His job done, Mr Harvey senior collected his cake tins and went back home content in the knowledge that no-one would be bullying his boy for a sub-standard tea.

The Shaftesbury Reply
Having been set an impressive total to chase, Shaftesbury’s openers Williams and Mutton took to the crease. As mentioned in the pre-amble, Mere were without a single medium/fast bowler with no less than four of them away on other duties, some cricket related and some just putting the finishing touches to their University Beer Paunch before they returned for Mere’s season in mid June. So with a bowling attack of slow, medium slow, quite slow and Kevin Tealy, Mere would need to bowl and field well to defend their score.
Shaftesbury started well enough and scored steadily but never fluently enough to get in front of the run rate. Harkin struck first bowling Williams for 20 and at the other end young Mutton went purposefully about his business, amassing 52 off 53 balls to keep the Dorset boys in the game. Weir still buoyed by his batting display brought himself on as Mere’s pace slow bowler and resisting the temptation to bowl in a Monty Panesar turban he managed to get a couple to keep straight, bowling both Cuff and Durdle cheaply. Ings took the prized scalp of Mutton, bowled again (all Mere’s wickets that day would be bowled out). Shaftesbury you could sense were just hanging on, never quite getting any meaningful partnership going and just not scoring quick enough to give themselves a real chance. Dave Toogood looked like he might spark something but he’s done that before Duncan assures me with sometimes disastrous consequences. Shaftesbury’s last hope went when Weir brought on Harvey junior…his dad would have bowled for him if he’d asked but he’d gone home by then. Jason started as he always does with a sighter 3 foot wide of off stump just to make sure the chairman was still awake, before following it up with his late in-swinging slower yorker which was far too good for toogood.
All that was left to cap a perfect day was the introduction at the end of our departing Tosser Tealey who duly obliged as always taking the last two wickets of the Shaftesbury reply as they finished on 172-7.

As always we returned to the “nut” for a very convivial de-brief….Duncan got so drunk he started having pwoblems pwonouning the word cwicket, secretary Whitmore chose to have a discussion with Weir on the mewits of 50 over cwicket versus the test cwicket format rather than retiring for an early night with his lovely wife…he’ll regwet that one, and we all said our goodbyes to Mr Tealy who is about to take Australia by storm with his rather unconventional style of English Tossing.

Mere Cricket Club Mere CC Batting
Player Name RunsMB4s6sSRCtStRo
3nb 17w 11b 2lb 
for 8 wickets

(40.0 overs)
Dan Brickell ct & b M Cuff 31 63 58 4 53.45
Sean Harkin b J Welch 5 12 8 1 62.50
Duncan Weir b A Barnes 135 116 102 24 132.35
Matt Pitts ct D Toogood b M Cuff 6 15 11 1 54.55
Ben Skipworth b M Williams 0 6 4 0
Mark Williams lbw b T Warder 22 28 30 1 73.33
Glen Ings b L Mutton 15 15 11 2 136.36
Kevin Tealey Not Out  13 15 11 1 118.18
Bryan Yeo b J Welch 4 10 9 44.44
Jason Harvey Not Out  0 1 1 0
Mark Cassidy  

Shaftesbury Bowling

Player nameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
M Williams6.0043143.007.17
J Welch8.0142221.005.25
M Cuff8.0038219.004.75
L Mutton8.0057157.007.13
A Barnes8.0057157.007.13
T Warder2.0014114.007.00

Shaftesbury Batting
Player name RMB4s6sSR
8w 9b 4lb 
for 7 wickets
172 (40.0 overs)
A Williams b S Harkin 20 22 35 3 57.14
L Mutton b G Ings 52 82 53 6 98.11
M Cuff b D Weir 6 17 17 35.29
T Durdle b D Weir 2 6 7 28.57
D Toogood b J Harvey 43 59 70 6 61.43
M Williams Not Out  26 40 43 3 60.47
J Welch b K Tealey 2 12 12 16.67
I Mutton b K Tealey 0 1 3 0
A Barnes  
S Lander  
T Warder  

Mere Cricket Club Mere CC Bowling

Player NameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
Bryan Yeo7.003300.004.71
Sean Harkin6.0015115.002.50
Ben Skipworth6.002800.004.67
Duncan Weir8.0035217.504.38
Mark Williams2.011100.005.50
Kevin Tealey4.001829.004.50
Dan Brickell1.00800.008.00
Glen Ings4.00818.002.00
Jason Harvey2.01313.001.50