Dinton Droppings do the Damage
The start of a new cricket season is always met with great anticipation. A chance to try out new skills practiced over the intensive winter training program. Fitness levels peaking at just the right time after a winter of pushing the body physically to new limits. The sacrifice, pain and sweat all become worth it when the whites are on and the umpire calls “play” for the first time.
At Wiltshire’s very own MCC there are some who follow the winter rituals of a dedicated cricketer and some who choose a different path. Take the skipper Weir and promising Wlitshire ladies captain Becky Yeo. The off season has been spent attending ECB Level 2 coaches courses where professionals have been giving master classes in the difference between ex England wicket keepers Jack Russell and Chris Reed’s leg side take stressing the importance of a supple groin. The gathering of Wiltshire’s finest U9 coaches were enthusiastically soaking it up like a dry sponge.
Take scorer Nick Ryan; in an effort to be in prime condition for the 2013 cricket season he has tried to reduce his cholesterol and chances of further heart scares by stripping horse meat from his diet completely. Diet and fitness is a very individual program. Jason ‘safest hands in the club’ Harvey’s winter diet of Walnut Tree beef lasagne had him looking like a thoroughbred out of the Godolphin stables of Newmarket galloping around the field and taking a fine catch in the deep. Talking of which, on to the game…
Weir won his first toss since 20th May 2012. Normally the first match report of the season would contain references to the smell of freshly cut grass, but other than an impressive looking square that wasn’t going to be damaged by the likes of Mere CC the outfield in parts looked very similar to Duchy Manor with grass long enough to lose a junior section in. After an inspection of the less than impressive artificial wicket and the outfield Weir chose to bowl first.
Not even an over into the season and first notable incident occurs. The ball is lost in the undergrowth of the outfield and trickles faintly on the helmet behind the keeper. Almost all in attendance including the umpires were oblivious to the event. Not surprising with the helmet barely visible in the grass. The very few who had including the batsman confirmed they would just carry on. It’s mid April, it’s a friendly, it’s the first over of the season, who cares? Well Mike Ryan does. A studious observer of the MCC laws of cricket spotted the incident from deep fine leg and made sure the entire population of Dinton were aware that the offence had taken place and a 5 runs were to be added to the score. His father had barely enough time to open his pencil case let alone find the ‘scoring with your helmet’ button on the ipad (well not the cricket app anyway). Mayhem prevailed for several overs at the scorers table to rectify the situation. Naturally Mike was fined for disruptive good sportsmanship.
Opening spells from The Ginger Ninja Ryan and Becky Yeo kept things tidy. It was like they’d never been away. However, between them they only managed 1 wicket. Ian Botham will tell you a lot of his wickets came from bad balls. Weir could persist no longer with tidy straight away swing bowling. It was time to bring on Senior Pro Bryan Yeo. 5 overs and 6 wides later he’d picked up a couple of wickets. He surprised Deeing with a straight one and gave Allen enough flight to tempt him in to the big one with Cassidy getting a confidence boosting stumping after some comedy acrobatics a few overs early. Hard to describe exactly what happened there but it was something akin to someone mistaking the shallow end for the deep end and taking a aerial hands and head first dive straight into the long grass and rectifying the disastrous misjudgement with a commando role. All this to retrieve the throw from the fielder. You had to be there really. The defence in the pub afterwards that it was some sort of legitimate cricket technique and that lots of other people had done it that day fell on deaf ears.
Lewis Wood, one of the dedicated winter cricketers, had a difficult day as he watched Harwood launch several balls back over his head. It was a similar story for young Ford whose economy rate of 13.5 runs per over is something to work on. Don’t be disheartened Ed; in 1973 Bryan was exactly the same and look how far he’s come on - only 1.2 wides per over these days and he’s opened the bowling for the last 3 years.
Harwood, clearly an accomplished cricketer and a Dinton 1st XI player was proving a menace. He had been dropped 4 or 5 times during the course of his 82. Mere clearly weren’t go to bowl, stump or catch him out. The only way he was going to get out is if he rolled over his stumps. Mark Williams ‘The Cuban Missile’ was just the man for the job and Harwood duly obliged destroying the stumps with several tumbles.
Seeing the main threat retreat back to the pavilion Weir decided he could probably turn his arm over a few more times but much like Yeo jnr (but with less away swing and the same amount of turn) his efforts went unrewarded. The batsmen weren’t even tempted by the mystery ball that pitched off the artificial wicket.
Harvey bowled an encouraging 2 overs before Whitmore and Pitts were left to clean up the tail with 2 wickets a piece. After years of the yips Pitts has more confidence in his ability with the ball and Whitmore, Mere’s 2012 leading wicket taker with 32 shrugged off the criticism in the press/walnut/changing room that 21 of those victims were under the age of 13 (statistics show it was 22) with a tidy spell of his own. He has since retracted his pre match statement of early retirement now he is equal first in the 2013 bowling cup stakes.
In a fielding display littered with miss-fields and dropped catches (please see Senior Pro Bryan Yeo’s fines book for more details) Dinton finished with 193-8
If you like cheese then the sandwich selection at tea was going to be your thing; cheese, cheese and pickle, cheese and tomato; cheese and cheese. If cheese wasn’t your thing then there was onion bhajis galore.
Time for Mere to put the pads on. Pitts and Whitmore were not only charging ahead in the bowling cup but also went ahead in the duck cup. Weir had barely had time to finish his 5th bhaji before he was at the crease with Senior pro Bryan Yeo who had watched events unfold at the other end while looking very comfortable himself, reminiscent of his benefit year in 1983. However he spooned an easy catch to the bowler for 25 and The Ginger Ninja soon followed clean bowled after trying to launch one over the A303. Weir and Yeo jnr looked to be establishing a good partnership before Weir was back into the familiar routine of being given out LBW by his own team mates for 43.
Umpire Frank Legge was also caught rusty. Weir pulled a ball towards him at square leg only for Frank to run directly into its flight path making painful contact on his hip. By all accounts the bruise is ginormous and although the swelling hasn’t reach the groin he is still enjoying showing it off to his wife. Naturally Frank was fined for illegal fielding and stopping a certain boundary.
The Cuban Missile Mark Williams made a typically powerful and explosive 19 followed by Wood, Harvey and Cassidy none of whom could make it into double figures leaving Becky Yeo to hold the fort with young Ed Ford at the crease. Ford sadly joined the duck cup contenders leaving Becky Yeo stranded on 48no 13 runs short of victory. Although the batting was lacklustre it was the dropped catches that had really done the damage for Mere. All in all an encouraging start though and an enjoyable fixture.
Now that the ipad is in its second season there has been some discussion that the charitable Players Player of the Season Award (awarded to those in need of a trophy having failed to scoop one of the proper awards – a bit like winning the League Cup) may be given some credibility by awarding it to the player with the highest ipad Most Valuable Player (MVP) awards at the end of the season. In theory an excellent proposal. However, after just one match the system has been identified as flawed. Senior Pro Bryan Yeo picked up the ipad MVP award but the ipad had failed to take into account the following:
- How wide his 6 wides were
- How many catches he dropped (for the record 2)
- How old and brown his shorts were
- How Alzheimers has gripped his short term memory allowing him to drive off with out paying for teas
The undisputed player of the match was Becky Yeo with a good opening spell and a very well constructed innings that very nearly saw Mere to victory.