Mere Cricket Club

I met with Charlie in The Walnut Tree Inn (proud sponsors of Mere Cricket Club). He was as punctual as ever, standing outside, cigarette in mouth checking his mobile for the latest MCC cricket tweets. We sit down inside and discuss how his award winning season went last summer, what he believes won him the much coveted Players’ Player Award and what he is looking forward to for the 2016 season.

DW: So, quite a season last year for you? 2015 Bowler of the Year and Players’ Player of the Year.

CW: Yes. Its all a bit of a blur really.

DW: Which do you consider the more important award? I know the Players’ Player Award has been denigrated by some as it is not measured against any statistics or specific performance?

CW: I don’t see it that way. For me the most important by far is the Players’ Player Award. It is voted for by your peers and there is no greater honour in my opinion. The argument about it not being measured against your cricket performance is flawed. You only have to look at the past winners, Jason Harvey, Mark Cassidy and Bryan Yeo, all great cricketers in their own right to see the award is as much about ability as it is personality. I’m not ashamed to admit that when I got home after the awards dinner and everything had sunk in I shed a tear I was so humbled.

DW: Are you sure that wasn’t the Sambuca?

CW: Quite sure.

DW: If you were a young aspiring MCC cricketer, or an older one for that matter, perhaps even the captain, what would be your advice on how to go about winning that award?

CW: Like all silverware, preparation is key. People always pretend they’re not interested in winning awards and silverware but I’m happy to admit its all about the personal glory for me. I set about winning the 2015 Players’ Player Award as far back as Christmas 2014.

DW: Talk me through it. I hope you don’t mind if I take notes?

CW: Not at all. I always set out my season’s goals months in advance. I sat down with my Dad who has always been my mentor and we came up with a 3 point plan.

DW: Only 3?

CW: It’s better to keep it simple. And I wouldn’t have remembered 4 anyway. Point 1, do not make yourself available for selection that much. I hardly played last year. I know I’m one of the best players and the most popular member in the side so when I do turn up, everyone is really pleased to see me. Also, if you then end up taking the most amount of wickets its even more impressive than if you played every single match.

DW: Like Bryan?

CW: Yeah. Like Bryan. He’s a good honest cricketer but he doesn’t have my good looks or my charisma.

DW: I see. Don’t play that many games then. What’s the next point on your plan.

CW: Always be the heartbeat of the banter. It is important to maintain a prominent and vocal presence during the matches and in the bar afterwards. I’m very fortunate in that making people laugh and holding court in the changing room comes very naturally to me.

DW: We don’t have any changing rooms at Mere unless you’re referring to the disabled toilet in the Andy Young Pavilion?

CW: Well if we did, I’d definitely be the funniest in there. You also need to ensure your humour is strong with a broad appeal for all tastes. After all, you want to amuse all the electorate to win their votes. Isolate one team mate with some weak and perhaps over personal banter and the vote is lost. People have long memories.

DW: You mean like when Mark Williams tells Mikey Ryan he has a weight problem?

CW: Exactly. Too personal. Do you see Mark’s name up on the honours board?

DW: No. I take your point.

CW: It is important to be yourself when it comes to humour. Unless you’re Kevin Whitmore, then its important to have and a few well-rehearsed and researched gags up your sleeve to cover different scenarios during the season. Not everyone can be as quick and off the cuff as me.

DW: I see. I’ll mention it to Kev when I see him next. And lastly, Point 3?

CW: Perhaps the most important point of all… turn up for the dinner. Not only do I always vote for myself, who’s going to remember I played those handful of games unless I’m there saying hello to them all just before they vote. Have you ever seen the Players’ Player not turn up to the dinner?

DW: No.

CW: Have you ever voted for yourself?

DW: No. I thought only Dave Rutherford did that.

CW: There’s your first mistake.

We stop and have a break while Charlie persuades me to join him for his twenty-third cigarette that day, my first of the year, as I contemplate his wise words and single minded preparation. As we sit back down his strained trouser button finally surrenders and pings across the room.

DW: New trousers needed?

CW: [He laughs but doesn’t retaliate, already thinking about my 2016 vote no doubt]

DW: Any personal highlights from last season, awards aside?

CW: I played so few games I can’t really remember.

DW: What about the future. What are the goals for the forthcoming season?

CW: I’d like to bag a five for with the ball and a couple of centuries with the bat. I’ve had a chat with my Dad and hatched a plan starting with targeting the right games. I’ll wait until the fixture list is out and see if we are playing Milton On Stour on a Sunday. Failing that Stour Provost, Motcombe or the Deverills should do the trick?

DW: Chalke Valley?

CW: Their pitch is too big. Too much running.

DW: Dinton?

CW: Their bowlers are too quick for me.

DW: Buckhorn Weston?

CW: These days I try to shy away from the more competitive league games. The sledging unsettles me.

DW: What about the other games?

CW: I’ll use my pretend girlfriend from the Channel Islands as an excuse.

DW: You mean she’s not real?

CW: God no. I’ve been dating an imaginary girl from Jersey for three years now and she gets more attractive every month.

DW: I think we’re veering too far off piste here. Lets bring it back to cricket. I see you’re signed up for the 2017 tour to Croatia.

CW: Wouldn’t miss it for the world. Two easy games to improve my season’s stats against the Croats and a captive audience to entertain for three days to win their votes.

DW: Well. Charlie. Many thanks for the interview. It’s been a great insight into your mind and hopefully we can do it again some time. I’m sure the youngest reading the transcript will glean a lot from one MCC’s finest.

CW: No problem at all. Cigarette?

DW: No thanks.

In the next edition, I talk to Jason Harvey about leaving the family weeks at a time to climb foreign mountains and how he can go a whole season with-out playing a single game and still receive an ambassador’s reception at the annual awards dinner.